What is a funny pregnancy quote for expectant mothers?
Pregnancy is a magical time – full of excitement, anticipation, and let’s be honest, a few bizarre cravings and sleepless nights.
While growing a tiny human is undoubtedly the best thing ever, sometimes the only way to get through those nine months (especially the third trimester) is with a good laugh.
That’s why we’re here to celebrate the lighter side of pregnancy with some funny pregnancy quotes that every mom-to-be can relate to.
Whether you need a good chuckle to power through morning sickness or a funny reminder that you WILL make it through nine months of belly kicks and bathroom breaks, these quotes are sure to keep you smiling!
Plus, they’re perfect for sharing with friends on social media – because nothing gives them a better glimpse into pregnancy life than a well-timed joke about weird cravings, baby brain, and the constant need to pee!
“This post may contain affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using this link. Please see my disclosure for more details.”
“As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.”
What are some funny pregnancy quotes for Instagram?
From hilarious takes on cravings and mid-day naps to jokes about baby kicks and the never-ending need to pee, these pregnant quotes capture the lighter side of pregnancy. Whether you’re waddling through your third trimester or want to give your followers a good chuckle, a witty caption is sure to get some laughs. Share the humor, because pregnancy is magical – but also a little ridiculous!
Short Pregnancy Quotes
- “I grow humans. What’s your superpower?”
- “I’m not waddling, this is my pregnancy swagger!”
- “Bending over is now an extreme sport.”
- “I was normal two trimesters ago.”
- “Eating for two, napping for five.”
- “My belly’s growing faster than my patience.”
- “Baby loading… please wait.”
- “Pregnancy: because I wasn’t already tired enough.”
- “I never knew the meaning of ‘waddle’ until now.”
- “I’m not cranky. I’m just pregnant, and you’re annoying.”
- “I took a nap and woke up in a new trimester.”
- “I’m growing a human. What’s your excuse?”
- “I thought I knew tired. I was wrong.”
- “To nap or not to nap? There is no question.”
- “I’m growing a person; I deserve a nap.”
- “Tummy: 60% baby, 40% cravings.”
- “I miss seeing my feet… they were nice.”
- “Surviving pregnancy one nap at a time.”
- “When a back rub turns into an unexpected pregnancy.”
- “Due date = day you receive 100 ‘Baby yet?’ texts.”
Funny Quotes about Pregnancy Realizations
- “Pregnancy is like a 9-month-long escape room, where the only way out is labor.”
- “I’ve mastered the art of dropping things and pretending I didn’t see them.”
- “Pregnancy is the only time in life you can be fat and happy.”
- “I thought nesting would mean organizing cute baby clothes. Turns out, it’s mostly just me aggressively vacuuming at 3 AM for no reason.”
- “Pregnancy is an incredible journey that includes heartburn, weird cravings, and a nap that turns into a full night’s sleep.”
- “Making it through pregnancy is like running a marathon – where the marathon lasts 40 weeks and you have to pee every five minutes.”
- “Pregnancy is the only time in life you can eat a second dinner, take a nap after waking up, and cry because you dropped your sandwich – all in the same hour.”
- “Every pregnancy symptom is a fun little surprise – like a grab bag, but all the prizes are discomfort.”
- “Pregnancy is a beautiful journey, but can we take a shortcut to the finish line?”
- “Maternity wear is just socially acceptable pajamas.”
- “Pregnancy made me realize I was taking breathing for granted.”
- “Why yes, I am wearing the same maternity dress for the third day in a row.”
- “I gave up on ‘real clothes’ about three weeks in. It’s all stretchy waistbands from here on out.”
Funny Pregnancy Quotes about Body Changes
- “I’m not saying I’m glowing, but I’ve got enough sweat to make a waterfall jealous.”
- “Pregnancy brain is real. I just put my phone in the fridge and couldn’t remember why for two hours.”
- “I never realized how much I took not being kicked from the inside for granted.”
- “Pregnancy brain: when you forgot what you just forgot.”
- “I don’t know if my belly button is popping out or if that’s just a small, desperate attempt that baby is trying to escape.”
- “It’s the third trimester: I can no longer see my feet, and my dignity has officially checked out.”
- “I’m not saying I’m big, but my belly has its own zip code.”
- “I thought my belly would be the biggest change, then my boobs said, ‘Hold my milk.'”
- “You never realize how much you miss bending over until you can’t do it anymore.”
- “They tell you to avoid stress during pregnancy, but have you ever tried putting on socks in the third trimester?”
- “I’m not waddling – I’m walking with pregnancy confidence.”
- “I wanted a six-pack… turns out, I got a baby bump instead.”
- “My bra size is growing at the same rate as my belly… send help!”
Funny Pregnancy Quotes about Trips to the Bathroom
- “Pregnancy: when you think your water broke… but you’ve just peed your pants.”
- “Pregnancy is just 9 months of ‘Do I really need to pee?'”
- “I don’t know what’s more active: my baby or my bladder.”
- “Pregnancy is realizing your bladder is a very tiny, unreliable friend.”
- “At this point, I might as well move my bed into the bathroom.”
- “My daily routine is 90% trips to the bathroom and 10% searching for snacks.”
- “Growing a tiny human is magical, but sometimes it feels like I’m carrying the weight of the entire world… in my bladder.”
- “Pregnancy is like a rollercoaster – a lot of ups, downs, and occasional nausea!”
- “Morning sickness has taught me that my body can reject food even before it arrives.”
- “Morning sickness: because nothing says ‘miracle of life’ like dry heaving before breakfast.”
- “Nothing like morning sickness to make you appreciate the days when breakfast stayed where it belonged.”
- “Morning sickness? More like all-day, anytime-it-feels-like-it sickness.”
Funny Pregnancy Quotes about Food and Cravings
- “You don’t know true fear until your pregnancy craving is out of stock.”
- “The only thing bigger than my belly right now is my grocery bill.”
- “Pregnancy cravings don’t care about time. If I want tacos at 3 AM, we’re having tacos at 3 AM.”
- “I took a pregnancy test for fun… now I’m eating for two.”
- “If my baby doesn’t come out 10% ice cream, I’ll be shocked.”
- “Just a walking snack dispenser at this point.”
- “These cravings have turned me into a food detective. If it’s in the house, I’ll find it!”
- “The most exercise I’ve gotten this week is the 30-second walk to the fridge.”
- “I don’t have pregnancy cravings, I have pregnancy needs. And right now, I NEED cake.”
- “I saw that positive pregnancy test… and immediately needed a snack.”
- “I’m not saying I need ice cream to survive this pregnancy, but I’m not going to risk finding out.”
- “I was going to keep my pregnancy secret for a while, but I gave in to my cravings and ate an entire cheesecake in public.”
Funny Pregnancy Quotes about Sleep and Relaxing
- “Welcome to pregnancy… the 9-month sleep deprivation program.”
- “I’m 9 months pregnant, and the only thing I’m ‘nesting’ is my butt on the couch.”
- “If you need me, I’ll be lying down. Indefinitely.”
- “You know you’re pregnant when your to-do list is ‘get off the couch.'”
- “Welcome to the 9th month of pregnancy. Now known as, officially too tired to waddle.”
- “I had a busy day… I waddled, I sighed, and I thought about napping… then I napped.”
- “I tried to power through my exhaustion… then I realized the couch wasn’t judging me, so I gave in.”
- “My back hurts, my feet are swollen, and I’m still expected to wear pants?”
- “Unplanned pregnancy: when Netflix and chill turns into heartburn and no sleep.”
- “Pregnancy and sleepless nights go hand in hand, like peanut butter and pickles – only less delicious.”
- “I thought I’d be a fit, active pregnant woman, then my couch claimed me, and I haven’t had the energy to fight back.”
Funny Pregnancy Quotes from Famous People
- “Baby bumpin’.” – Ashlee Simpson
- “No uterus, no opinion.” – Rachel from Friends
- “Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes.” – Joyce Armor
- “Being pregnant is an occupational hazard of being a wife.” – Queen Victoria
- “I have two brains in my body, but I’ve never been so dumb.” – Gloria from Modern Family
- “The boobs are big, the belly is big, the body is big. Man… pregnancy is hard.” – Hilary Duff
- “Pregnancy is the only time when you can do nothing at all and still be productive.” – Evan Esar
- “Having a child is like getting a tattoo… on your face. You better be committed.” – Eat Pray Love
- “It’s a great thing about being pregnant – you don’t need excuses to pee or to eat.” – Angelina Jolie
- “If you want to know the feeling, just take your bottom lip and pull it over your head.” – Carol Burnett
- “That first pregnancy is a long sea journey to a country where you don’t know the language.” – Emily Perkins
- “People always say pregnant women have a glow. And I say it’s because you’re sweating to death.” – Jessica Simpson
- “I used to have a terrific flat stomach but now it’s kind of blown out after two giant babies used it as a short-term apartment.” – Amy Poehler
- “There’s no such thing as ready. You just jump on a moving train, and you try not to die.” – Vic from What to Expect When You’re Expecting
- “Everything grows rounder and wider and weirder, and I sit here in the middle of it all and wonder who in the world you will turn out to be.” – Carrie Fisher
- “In the pregnancy process, I have come to realize how much of the burden is on the female partner. She’s got a construction zone going on in her belly.” – Al Roker
- “Being pregnant finally helped me understand what my true relationship was with my body – meaning that it wasn’t put on this earth to look good in a swimsuit.” – Amy Adams
- “There’s a whole birthing plan, but what is the plan other than to get it out? I mean, there isn’t an option to kind of keep it in, is there? So, I’m assuming my plan is to get it out. But apparently, there’s more to the plan than that. I don’t know what that is.” – Keira Knightley
- “So, I asked around, and apparently, I have a baby bump. And I am here to tell you that I do – I do! I am not pregnant, but I have had three kids, and there is a bump. From now on, ladies, I will have a bump. And it will be my baby bump. And let’s just all settle in and get used to it. It’s not going anywhere.” – Jennifer Garner
Conclusion
There you have it: 100 funny pregnancy quotes to make it through your third trimester. Pregnancy is a wild, wonderful, and often hilarious journey, and the best way to navigate it is with a good sense of humor. No matter what you may be experiencing, a funny quote can remind you that you’re not alone. So, enjoy these quotes and share them with friends and family as you anxiously await the arrival of your little bundle of joy.
Which of these funny pregnancy quotes did you relate to the most? Let us know in the comments. And please share the laughter with a friend.
Related Articles for Funny Pregnancy Quotes:
- Everything to Do Before Baby Comes
- What Do Hospitals Provide for Newborns: Things You Don’t Need to Pack
- Best Pregnancy Announcement Captions for Social Media
100 Funny Pregnancy Quotes for Getting to Your 3rd Trimester
Table of Contents